Finally Free from God

Today is special. I’m finally free from God.
For a long time, I have been searching for God. He is said to be omnipresent. But I found him omniabsent everywhere I looked. Perhaps I did not look for him at the right place. Perhaps he is not an external reality, as the Catholic Church has been telling us. To them, God is objective and his works can be discovered in what has been called the natural law and in the form of this physical world. But to me, that there is a physical world does not necessarily point to the true existence of a creator. It may be wrong to imagine that the world needs a creator or has one. The world simply is. We may ask who created it. But that does not mean that it is a meaningful question simply because we assume that there is an answer to this question. There may be no good reason to think so. Our question may be result of habit because we can ask this type of questions with respect to many of the artifacts created by man and the other animals. But usually, this type of the question apply only to things within this physical world and actually have a "creator".  It is not appropriate to the world or the universe as a whole. The universe may be self-generated in the same way that many theologians think that God is self-created.
Theologians have tried to justify the existence of God in all sorts of ways. They have used the so-called ontological arguments, the deductive moral argument and the design argument. None of them are free from faults and defects. All of them are questionable. The only argument which makes any sense at all to me is the argument from experience or the mystical argument. But then, this argument is subjective. Not everyone will or can experience the phenomena which they attribute to a God the same way. Perhaps if there is a God, we can never know him for what he is. All that is available to us is our conceptions of him, produced through analogy from the other phenomena we perceive via the use of our senses and for some, directly through their intuition. In the final analysis, the existence of God may be no more than a useful myth which serves to console us for past pains, anxieties, griefs, sufferings and injustices and to give us hope for a better future by positing the existence of an ideal after world where the  goodness, love and justice which people crave but do not always find in this world are promised to become a "reality".  He is the product of our own wishful thinking, not much different from the fantasy of little children huddling in fear and uncertainty in the dark of the night and yearning for the first ray of the morning sun.  If God exists at all, he may exist nowhere except in our imagination. God may well be the subject of what has been called "existential poetry". We may have no reason to believe that he truly exists. Is that why Jesus asks us to have faith? Is that not the reason why the Lutherans emphasize faith above everything else?
Some people has more need of such existential poetry than others. It is a beautiful creation. Perhaps God is like a woman to a man. You cannot live with her for long without doubting your sanity but you cannot live without her either.  
If we wish to retain our sanity, we know better than to worship an "idol", of our own creation, no matter how beautiful.  Nietzsche has announced the "death of God" more than a century ago. I am late by more than a century! Perhaps.
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